Bear With Me - Bear Attacks and The Kimber .45 ACP
I took my 9 year old son and three of his buddies on a camping trip this weekend to celebrate his birthday, an interesting story in itself, and a question about a bear attack came up. We were in black bear country and the question was asked because I was teaching the kids how to handle the garbage generated by their insatiable but absurdly finicky appetites.
Bear attacks is a subject that I have been interested in for many years due in part I am sure because I like to solo cold camp/bivy hunt in remote locations. For as long as I can remember, I have picked up every magazine I came across that advertised a “bear attack” article in hopes that I would be endowed by some bear expert with the secrets of how to stop a bear that was intent on killing me. I say killing and not attacking because I assume the only reason a bear would attack me would be to kill me. Why he kills me, what kind of a bear it is, and what he does after he kills me is irrelevant, to me, at least at that point. I think I have also watched every bear attack program ever shown on television. I have read and watched dozens of articles and shows about how to avoid and what to do if you are attacked by a bear.
Here is what I know; you stand a better chance of getting an agreement on global warming or illegal immigration than you do on what provokes a bear attack and what to do when it happens. Great pains are taken by the experts in describing bear behavior and what to do if it does one thing or the other depending on the kind of bear and the time of year. They go on and on about the subtleties and nuances of different bear species personality and how that should affect your decision to lay down and play dead or run or climb a tree or my favorite, fight the bear. They talk about bear bells and “hey bear” calls while you hike and the efficacy of bear spray, aka bear irritant or deterrent.
My favorite part of these bear pieces is when the expert explains what the bear is thinking. I love this. I have been married for almost twenty years to the same woman and I can’t tell you what she is thinking but Dr. Doolittle here is going to tell me what is going through the “mind” of a wild animal. How arrogant can you get? It is almost as stupid as the person who tells you that their dog won’t bite. What they should say is that my dog hasn’t bitten anyone yet, but he is an animal and I don’t really know what he will do. My second favorite is when the author/host tries to get as close to the bear as possible. For me, this is the IQ indicator for all the people in the story. The closer they get to the bear or allow the bear to get to them, the lower their IQ. The lowest IQ yet, famed bear “enthusiast” Timothy Treadwell, liked to live among the big bears in Alaska. Treadwell, who carried no means of protection and routinely got so close to the bears that he could touch them, and his girlfriend were attacked, killed and eaten in 2003 by what experts called a “rogue” bear. A rogue bear huh? How about a hungry bear in his natural habitat doing what hungry bears do, eat. See the thing that most people miss is that the bear wasn’t thinking or feeling, he was pragmatically doing what he needed to do to survive and these two rogue humans presented themselves as an easy meal.
Treadwell got a lot of attention for being some kind of conservationist but I think the results of his actions are self evident. Morals of the story are; you can’t be buddys with a wild bear, you can’t predict wild bear behavior and you just can’t reason with a wild bear, especially if he is hungry and you are empty handed.
Treadwell got a lot of attention for being some kind of conservationist but I think the results of his actions are self evident. Morals of the story are; you can’t be buddys with a wild bear, you can’t predict wild bear behavior and you just can’t reason with a wild bear, especially if he is hungry and you are empty handed.
So, I am surfing the tube last night and I catch another of these bear programs and this time it is an English guy with a “bear guide” watching a sow and her three cubs looking for food on a remote beach in Alaska. Pretty soon the bears are, no kidding, 10 feet away from the camera man and host. The host was pretty calm, I assume because he was sure that he could out run the cameraman. Remember the old joke about not having to out run the bear, you just have to out run your companion. The bear guide must have had huevos the size of coconuts because he stepped forward and put a Bill Clinton finger in that mommy bears face and sternly said, NO, like he was scolding a puppy for peeing on the carpet. Supreme idiocy and complete buffoonery reign supreme in Hollywood but it was riveting television. Frankly, I was expecting the bears to maul one of these guys on principle alone but then again, I am a hopeless romantic.
Hey, I am not a bear expert. I am not a bear psychologist. I am not a bear whisperer. I can’t tell the difference between a black bear that has a brown coat and a real brown bear and I can guarantee you that I will not remember which one of them climbs trees when I round a corner and come face to face with one. Neither will you. Which is exactly my point, all this bear incident management mumbo jumbo being pushed on the outdoors public is misleading and dangerous.
The good information in these programs is about how to avoid trouble with bears and I appreciate that and really do try to use it. However, there is a consistent element in all of these stories; nobody ever suggests using a firearm as a way of preventing or ending a bear attack. Though, ironically, shooting it is always how the “authorities” deal with a bad bear. They usually say that the bear had to be euthanized or destroyed which is a benign way of saying that a guy with a patch on his shoulder had to go out and put a bullet or two in it. Why does it make sense to kill the bear with a gun after the attack and not prior to or during the attack? Why does the bear get shot for the human’s careless, stupid, arrogant behavior?
OK, so what is the Hardcore theory of peaceful coexistence with those of the Mammalia Carnivora Ursidae persuasion? First, learn to be bear smart. There is an established and successful curriculum out there that minimizes bear/human interaction and problems. Second, avoid dangerous confrontations. If you see one, give way, back off, take another route. The bear was there first this time so he wins that piece of real estate. Third, procure, train with and carry the largest caliber handgun you can safely and effectively handle and use it if you have to. If you have done everything possible to avoid the situation and it still comes down to you or the bear, it should be you that walks away alive not the bear. If you want to fire a warning shot into the ground that’s fine but I am betting you won’t have time. Put the sights on a vital area and squeeze the trigger until the bear stops moving or you run out of ammunition. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Don’t wound it. That just delays the inevitable, shifts the responsibility to someone else, puts other people at risk in the interim and causes the animal unnecessary pain. Kill it and thank John Moses Browning for being a genius.
That last line tells you my preferred tool for protecting me and my family from bad things. The Pro CDP II in .45 ACP made by Kimber is the dog that barks over here and bites over there. It is the great equalizer. Oh, I know that the email is going to be over flowing with suggestions of other guns to use but that is what I know, that is what I like and that is what I carry. See, a bear doesn’t bite you in the on the neck and hold you clenched in it's teeth until you are dead like a mountain lion. A bear charges you, knocks you down and then chews on you for a while. He goes for the big meaty parts first, peeling the skin back then, tearing big hunks of meat off the bone. You will probably be conscious for part of the attack so you’re gonna have some time to reflect on the important things in your life and some of the bad decisions you have made, like going into bear country unarmed. I think they call that a moment of clarity and it should serve as a blinding glimpse of the obvious to the rest of us.
Look, I don’t mean to be brutish or cold hearted but I like to think that if that moment ever comes in my life, I will put up a good fight and I want more than a can of mace in my hand to help me. I don’t blame the bear. He is just doing what bears do but I am going to do all that I can to survive a situation that I did my best to avoid. Besides, I am at the top of the food chain for a reason and I intend to stay there for as long as I can. If the bear beats two Wilson Combat clips full of 230 grain Federal Hydra Shok JHPs then he has earned a good meal, fair and square.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Wade Nelson
Editor
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